This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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