im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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