dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
