I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize