I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
