wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize