hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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