In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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