He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
