If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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