so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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