Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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