Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
