That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
