Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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