im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
