I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
