I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
