My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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