there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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