Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
