C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
