I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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