people are starting to question the shark bite story
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize