This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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