Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
