Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
