Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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