Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
