Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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