clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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