Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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