I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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