Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
