We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
MIDGETS
????
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize