sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
