Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im six kinds of drunk right now
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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