Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
