I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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