We left an ass print on the piano.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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