nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to make a zoo with you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
