Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
