We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
