Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
why is half of my head shaved?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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