I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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