Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
