For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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