I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
