Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
