"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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