Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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