Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
