So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
