Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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