Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
