so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
