Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
