He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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