what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
