I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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