you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
