Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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