i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
