I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
