i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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