Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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