i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
